Hey there,

Stop weaponizing your past.

Girl, I get it. There are things in your past that you can’t seem to let go of. There are some skeletons in your closet that seem eager to push through the door and remind you that you f**ked up, fell short, didn’t try hard enough, aren’t worthy enough, and the list goes on and on.

But here’s the deal—and I’m sure you’ve probably heard this a million times—what’s in the past is in the past. Just because something used to be doesn’t mean that it has to continue to be.

The truth is that we’re all trying to move on from some past trauma. In a sense, we’re all walking collages composed of mistakes, dreams, hurt, hope, and all sorts of beauty and chaos. The past never really disappears, but it doesn’t have to have power over you.

The greatest asset that you possess is choice. You get to choose where you go after everything that has happened. You can choose to use your past as the reason you move forward toward a better, more fulfilling, and joyful life. Or, you can use it as an excuse for why you can’t do better.

Your past is an arrow or a boulder. Either it’s your launching pad or the thing that keeps you stuck. And it all comes down to choice. Which one will you choose?

How knowing your values helps you live a more aligned life.

Values are deeply held principles or standards that guide behavior and decision-making. They represent what is important to you and reflect your priorities in life. Values are often derived from your beliefs. For example, if you believe that it’s important to be honest, you probably value integrity and transparency.

Your values serve as a lighthouse in a sense. They are guide lights to where you want to go and keep you on track with what you feel is right. Going back to the above example, if you value integrity and transparency, they will guide you to be truthful and transparent in all aspects of your life. They may even become a part of your identity, so when you describe yourself to others, you say, “I am an honest person,” or “I believe in always being honest and transparent.”

Living according to your values gives you a sense of ease and peace. You feel like you are being yourself and are on the right path. But when you aren’t living according to your values, it feels like something is off or not right. That’s why if you tell a small lie when you believe in always being honest, you feel a lot of guilt.

Knowing your values and living according to them is a huge part of living a more joyous and fulfilling life. That’s why it’s one of the first things I do with my one-on-one clients.

If you don’t know your values, I highly encourage you to find some time to examine your beliefs, reflect on who you are and what you want, and see if you are living in alignment with them.

It’s also important to know that your values change throughout your life. So, I recommend that you check in with yourself every six months to make sure that you are still on track.

To help you, I’ve attached a non-conclusive list of some of the most common values. Look through them and pick about ten that resonate with you. Then, choose five of those that you feel are most important to you right now. Then, do an inventory of your beliefs and how you are currently living your life to see if everything lines up.

Okay, I think that’s all for now.

Until next time, keep going and keep growing.

Coach Tay

P.s. I’ve attached a free values worksheet to help you get started on clarifying what’s important to you.

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