Hey,

Happy Hump Day!!

I decided that I would be brutally honest with something in this week's newsletter. So, here goes (deep breath):

Your goals probably suck!

Now, before you jump straight to hating me, let me explain.

I believe the intention behind your goals is good, great even. You are not wrong for wanting what you want. In fact, I genuinely believe that you deserve and are capable of achieving what you want.

But, by show of hands, have you actually made any (solid) progress toward your goals?

I’m normally not a betting woman, but if we were in the same room together, I’m willing to bet that your hands would not be raised and we’d be hearing crickets while awkwardly staring at each other.

But as the saying goes, even though the truth hurts, it can also set you free. And since we’ve made it through the hurt (that your goals probably suck) we can move on to the setting you free part (how to make your goals not suck)! But first…

Why Your Goals (probably) Suck.

There’s typically three things at the root of sucky goals (in no particular order)…

1. They’re not S.M.A.R.T!

2. They’re not IDENTITY-BASED!

3. There is no follow-through by YOU! (this could be for several reasons, which we’ll get to)

Now, before I move on, I want to say that your goals sucking, isn’t completely your fault. Unfortunately, we’re not given much instruction on how to set good goals. Hence this week’s topic 😀 .

The truth is, you deserve to accomplish the shit that means the most to you and takes you to where you want to be in life, so like the Mandalorian would say, “this is the way.” So follow me!

How to Set Goals That Don’t Suck.

Step 1: Start With The End Vision

The best way to set a good goal is to start with the outcome. That is, your overall life vision. What does your ideal life look like? Or, an even better way to think about it is to imagine you’re 80 years old, sitting in your rocking chair and reflecting on your life. What do you want to be able to say you did/achieved? Do you want to hike Mt. Everest? Or, maybe you want to open a bakery? Whatever it is you imagine for your life, grab a piece of paper and write it down!

Step 2: Identify A Milestone

So now that you know the vision for your life, identify a milestone that would bring you closer to achieving one thing you outlined in your vision. For example, if in your life vision you said you wanted to hike Mt. Everest, a milestone might be to summit Denali (the highest peak in the USA). This is a good milestone because it will test your strength and build your confidence before you climb Mt. Everest. If you can climb 20,000 ft., what’s an extra 14,000 ft.?

Step 3: What’s Your Why?

This is important! In fact, it’s so important that if you don’t have a “why,” chances are high that when the going gets tough, you won’t get going (aka - follow through). Why is achieving your goal so important to you? Your why has to be meaningful. If it’s not, when you find yourself at the crossroad of giving up or keeping going, you’re more than likely going to give up. Your why can be selfish, or it can be not about you at all. What matters is that it’s MEANINGFUL and can push you forward when you feel it would be much easier to try again some other time.

Step 4: Make it S.M.A.R.T

Now, you need to take your milestone goal and make it Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic/Reasonable, and Time-bound (S.M.A.R.T). By making your goal S.M.A.R.T, you are identifying measures of success. Doing this gives you a clear outline of how you will know that you’ve accomplished what you set out to accomplish. In essence, it leaves no room for interpretation of whether you succeeded and gives you clear guidelines to follow. Going back to our example, a S.M.A.R.T goal for Denali would be: I will summit Denali between July and September 2030.

Specific: The what (summit Denali) and the when (July - September 2030).

Measurable: I said summit, which means make it to the top. I didn’t put hike because that’s not a measurable distance.

Achievable: Summiting Denali is VERY possible.

Realistic: Assuming this goal is for me, the answer would be yes. Why? Because I’m in reasonably great shape and already do a lot of hiking. Now, if it were someone who has never been to the gym or gone hiking, you may have to analyze if it is realistic. So this question really refers to your parameters.

Time Bound: July - September 2030. This is peak hiking time for Denali and is several years away to give me plenty of time to train and hike to prepare. But it’s not so far away that I can wait to act.

Remember a S.M.A.R.T goal will always take you further than a dumb goal 🙃.

Step 5: Tie it to your Identity

Here’s some psychology: you will always follow through on who you believe yourself to be!

Tying your goals to your identity is a complete game-changer! Here’s why…

Identity-based goals focus on the type of person you want to become rather than solely on a specific outcome or result. They are powerful because they connect deeply with your self-perception. They help you become the person you want to be, instead of just reaching a milestone. This is important because when you aim to become a certain type of person, you’re working on changing your beliefs and how you see yourself. This shift makes your actions feel more authentic and sustainable.

If you identify as "someone who values health," healthy choices become a reflection of who you are, not just a task to complete. Identity-based goals drive consistent action because each decision becomes an opportunity to reinforce your desired identity. When faced with a choice, you’re more likely to ask yourself, "What would a healthy/organized/compassionate person do?" This approach helps align your daily actions with your values and vision, making success a byproduct of who you’re becoming.

Identity-based goals also encourage a growth mindset because they focus on becoming rather than achieving. It’s not about perfection but continuous improvement and alignment with your ideal self. This makes the journey fulfilling and helps you appreciate the small steps that contribute to long-term transformation.

Phew😅! So, tying an “identity” to our example may look like this: I am a hiker who enjoys challenging summits.

Step 6: Developing Habits & Systems

Think of systems like actions (aka habits) that, when done consistently, produce a desired result. When you implement systems into your goals, you become who you want to be, which aids you in creating the life you want to live (like accomplishing your goals).

Creating systems for your goals is one of the most important things in creating goals that don’t suck. Because results are driven by action. 

When creating your systems, don’t make them too complicated or more than you can handle starting out. The goal isn’t to feel overwhelmed, it’s to feel empowered. Implementing new habits is already challenging, so don’t make it too hard on yourself. On that same note, don’t make it too easy. You want to challenge yourself without overwhelming and discouraging yourself.  

So, three systems for our example goal might be…

1. Train hiking-specific exercises three times a week.

2. Dedicate an hour a week to hiking research and learning best practices.

3. Reach out to 3 people who have submitted Denali and get their experience.

See how it works? My systems reaffirm my identity as a hiker. And if I’m a hiker who enjoys challenging summits, why would I not hike Denali and eventually Mt. Everest?

Wrapping Up.

I know, that was a lot, so I’ve attached some worksheets to help you out. In all actuality, when you string all these steps together, the framework helps you map out your goals very nicely.

And I promise you, if you follow these steps, your goals won’t suck and you’ll find yourself making progress and accomplishing the shit that means the most to you!

Okay, I think that’s all for now.

Until next time, keep going and keep growing.

Coach Tay

P.s. I’m opening my coaching books this month. Now is your opportunity to focus on yourself and build the life you’ve always imagined for yourself! Spots are going fast, so send me an email or DM to get in on this exciting time!

1. Ready to change your life? Gain clarity and confidence and become a bona fide badass. With me as your coach, we’ll work one-on-one to transform your mindset and overhaul your life so that you can rise and create and live a life you love.

2. Favor. I only have one favor to ask. If you could share this newsletter with anyone you think would benefit from it, that would mean the world to me. I’m on a mission to reach as many women as I can, and I cannot do that without a referral from you, my loyal audience.

3. I think we’d be great friends. Follow me on all my platforms for daily inspiration, personal growth, poetry, empowerment, and occasional laughter. Click the links below to be a part of the community.

Instagram | Facebook | Pinterest | Medium | Website